Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
