I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
