Will you blow on my dice?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize