I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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