So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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