I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
