You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize