I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Church boner. Awkwardddd
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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