im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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