I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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