break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
