I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
