So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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