At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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