WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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