He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
