there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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