Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
