Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
whats a polygalesbian?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just wanna soil my oats bro
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
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