No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Come on in and take your pants off
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