you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
