I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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