kristin has been a bad kristin
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
