Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
