my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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