Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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