i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
