I can tuck mytits in my pants
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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