oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
