Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
