So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
