We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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