Jerry, you need to find god
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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