But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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