Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
