I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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