operation have a gay friend backfired
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize