we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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