god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize