I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
