i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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