I'm jealous of your bromance
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
