I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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