if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
