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  • Did you sparkle afterwards?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:03pm
  • you must be 13 yrs old because who the fuck actually wants a handjob??

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:28pm
  • If offered a hand job take it. No risk no obligation. It's like shaking hands. And to those naysayers..... I taught my wife how to give a proper hj and now she has more skills than me. She's Luke to my yoda

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 2:14pm
  • who the fuck gives handjobs these days? blowjobs are the new goodnight kiss. wtf

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:06pm
  • A hand job is a man's job. A blow job is her job.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 6:49pm
  • 11:13, you rock bud! Damned selfish republicans know NOTHING!! Go suck one if you hate on me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 1:50am
  • twilight is erotic fiction for preteen girls. don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 2:01pm
  • oh, wow. I love how everyone defaults to 12.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 8:29pm
  • It did but expect a hand job from Jakob or edward

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 4:42pm
  • who brags about a handjob?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 3:31pm
  • If you are 12 years old then i am impressed and it only gets better. If not you should keep that to yourself cause you suck at life

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:56pm
  • Just a handjob? Well, it looks like you didn't have to watch it to get it, so you still win.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:02pm
  • Just a handjob? Guess she wasn't that "full of love"

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:38pm
  • it already came out.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:31pm
  • Most of you are probably a bunch of nerds who couldn't even get a handjob if you wanted. Handjob by the right girl are great because someone else is actually touching your dicks. But we all know how you inside people like to touch yourself since no one else will

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 12:47pm
  • I think it's funny how Harry Potter fans think they're legit since Twilight came out. You're still not.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 12:54am
  • Either you suck it or fuck it or get the hell out...what are you in 8th grade getting a handjob. I can give myself a better handjob than any girl, tell her to fuck off...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 9:42pm
  • Twilight is never good. Even if it gets you a handjob

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:03pm
  • Fuck twilight But shoulda had a BJ

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 11:38pm
  • Fuck handjobs. I would rather jack off myself then let a girl do it. You should of at least got a blowjob.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 2:02pm
  • Should've handed her some chloraseptic spray and told her it's for train her gag reflex, Now do work son!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 2:04pm
  • the fact that she gave you only a hand job says a lot about twilight fans to me. fucking grow up and dish out real goods, or go the fuck home! only 16 year-olds should be subjecting poor fools to hand jobs.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 2:44pm
  • Nice. Twilight still sucks bawls though. I guess in your case it caressed them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:01pm
  • what are you, twelve?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 8:28pm
  • June, buddy. Good luck!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 11:19pm
  • fuck handjobs... I watched, came back and had sex with my fiance :P

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 12:38am
  • Who wants handjobs when you can do it better yourself?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 4, 10 at 10:59pm
  • lol you used a star wars reference for getting handjobs

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 2:37pm
  • Yaaay Colorado hand jobs!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 12:46am
  • That's all you got? And she's a Twi-Tard? How fat is she?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 10:28pm
  • you gotta find better ways to get paid than 1 handjob a year

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 2:28pm
  • Wait who the fuck finds an analog between handjobs and Star Wars?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 7:31pm
  • maybe if u got a blowjob it would b cool

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:05pm
  • The first time I watched twilight was the night I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. Oh, the memories...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 3:15pm
  • I think she was full of cum from the first guy she visited after the movie. Didn't need you to top her off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 1:02pm
  • Not gonna lie; this is funny. Twilight reference or not.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 6:20am
  • Yo I don't know what you guys are talkin about. This man is lucky. He did NOTHING and just got a handjob. Talk about haveing your Cake and eatting it to

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 9:52am
  • Fuck that.... Tell her to suck it, fuck it, or leave it alone

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 1:29pm
  • Handjob is a mans job.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:58pm
  • HAND JOB !! LOL Are you 12?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 1:57pm
  • If they are young, that would mean that people are right when they say twilight is a way to sell sex to young girls, haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 1:21pm
  • You either suck it, fuck it, or leave I alone. Cause you can't stroke me like I can on my own.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 3:25am
  • handjobs fucking suck. id rather jerk off than get a handjob. blowjob+ or gtfo

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 9:37pm
  • Handjob is pussy shit, tell her to fuck or suck these nuts or get the hell out. A handjob pssh, you can do that yourself and probably 10x better than she can...man up

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 1:49pm
  • Dick isn't gonna suck it self!?!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 2:06pm
  • 408 and 420...your Both losers!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 4:59pm
  • yeh... i dnt get whts so great about handjobs, i can giv myself one of those w/e, now as for blowjobs...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 4:37pm
  • a handjob, that's it?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 6:49pm
  • possibly the best thing to ever happen as an effect of twilight

    Submitted by ronasokily on Jul 11, 10 at 5:36pm
  • Democratic son of Satan? Go shove a bible up your ass, altar boy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 24, 09 at 2:07am
  • Fuck republicans !!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 11:13pm
  • Good thing it wasn't actual sex, who knows what kind of STDs she had.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 6:43pm
  • June 30th 2010. To the person below me: hahahaha ur wrong!! Get it right!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 4:20pm
  • My loose boxer shorts feel better than a girls handjob.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 12:19am
  • So what if he is young. Hand job is good for the kids who cares

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 11:30pm
  • big pussy....you can give yourself a handjob. You need to sack up and shove the one-eyed monster down her throat for chrissake

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 1:03pm
  • A handjob? That bs excuse for doing something. Man if she would've came over and did that to me. Yea. She wouldn't be there for long. Kick her ass out. Handjob. Lame ass shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 25, 09 at 5:47am
  • Who still gives handjobs? Are you in 7th grade?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 24, 09 at 2:07pm
  • im a girl and i would have gave you something other than a hand job. [unless your 12] haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 11:47am
  • Sucks you get handjobs.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 12, 09 at 2:19pm
  • Wow a hj? What is this 8th grade

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 5:13pm
  • Wait, really? Isn't that the opposite of what this Mormon bullshit supposed to be all about?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 2:09pm
  • sounds like your in jr high. find someone else whos not a freak

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 7:21pm
  • Fuck you 11:13 nov 22

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 25, 09 at 12:32am
  • If you watch Twilight (@November 22, 2009 3:15PM) you deserve everything you got. Harsh, but sorry, the movie, the books and everything about them are vile.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 7:37pm
  • As long as you didn't have to watch it...just take what you can get lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 12:56pm
  • 11:13 go the fuck away you democratic son of Satan

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 22, 09 at 11:24pm
  • sucks your sex life is based on movie release dates.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 28, 09 at 5:40am
  • Dude...fuck hand jobs. Unless you're 12, then good job kid. But step it up next time, get that dick wet.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 23, 09 at 7:05am