ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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