i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
