So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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