Yo dont text me then not text me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
