I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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