So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize