I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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