I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Enjoy the penises
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
