U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
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Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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