i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
