she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
