Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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