I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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