butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
