there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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