I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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