you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize