I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
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No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
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She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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