sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
