I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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