She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
