Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
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You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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