Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
