Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
