And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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